If To Touch A Star



If To Touch A Star 

i’ve done the math –
so close; i feel the drub,
swell of heartbeats; as one[two]
a parallel of light in my distant gaze

i’ve taken the leaps,
fell into bounds –
a night sky blurs with aches;
endless sweeps of searching,
manipulating the game of grief –

i’ve watched the infinite,
unanswerables write themselves
into your book –
the one you won’t let me read,
your answers tucked away
shaded in the permanency
infinity, destiny?

walking on an invisible plank,
held on dimensional waves –
looking down into Blackness,
the cold; a huddled self,
grabbing at pages tucked into the stars,
a library of foreverness
eyes scooping in the sounds,
a silent cry –
determinant of nothings flying off a shelf

dark matter of the mind,
still seeks a clue,
depths of stars
and parallels that bind two
infinitely close –

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I Really Do feel There is Something More

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I Really Do feel There is Something More

I have always felt
that I should be
something more
than what I am.
I do volunteer at
United Hospice of Calhoun.
The volunteer director,Melva,
always brags about the way
II am with the patients. I
comfort them, I make them smile.
I don’t know where it comes from,
but I have always been comfortable
around older people.
I used to do my granny’s feet, toemails
n stuff.I just wish I could
have been there the 2 days I missed. By the time my hubby took me back, they had to give her so much pain med (for her cancer), SHE WAS TOTALLY OUT OF IT.
She had her eyes open, but no words,
no acknowledgement.
NOTHING will take that pain away.
It has been 16 years and it still cuts like a knife.
So, I try not to think of it.


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